Today I get down to leaving Ana behind me.
Starting today, November 9th I will be taking note of all the progress, good and bad, that I make, whether they be for my spirit, mind or body.
So here’s the list for today!
GOOD STUFF I DID ON 11/9/2013:
- Took an hour to walk through the park and experience nature.
- Ate the things I liked, when I felt like it.. but not being excessive. (I am crazy about caramel corn)
- Remembered to think positively during my day. This helped me avoid sinking into a bad mental state which sometimes happens.
NOT-SO-GOOD STUFF I DID ON 11/9/2013:
- Found that I was paying too much attention to my thighs and hips jiggling the fat and thinking that there was too much cellulite.
- Kept touching my love handles to see how flabby they felt. (This will no doubt sound weird to normal people, but I’ll bet those with an Ana past will understand.)
Tomorrow is another day and the challenges will be back. All I can do it take it one step at a time, one day, one experience. Hopefully I will continue to have the support of those around me who will look out for me, love me and hold their judgement for my past problems.
My mom is a big help for me, she is always there to talk to, which can really make all the difference sometimes. Knowing that someone loves me and accepts me, especially when I don’t feel like I am worth loving or even worth anything at all, can really help pull me up out of the dark hole that Ana drags me into.
Writing things down helps a lot too. I’ve kept a journal before and just getting all my thoughts out, and rereading them lets me see where I am and gives me perspective on my situation. I’m now writing here, getting it out of the privacy of my own mind and out into the world to help make it more real and hopefully help someone and get some support back as well. I know that the journey is hard; mine has been, but it is possible and I hope that I can be proof of that.
How about you? What happened to you today with Ana (or Mia)?