Confessions of an eating disordered mommy
Being a mommy with an eating disordered mind carries with it a multitude of concerns.
Every day, I attempt to make sure that I don’t say anything bad about my body in front of my son. Sometimes, little things do slip through (”I hate this cellulite!”, “I’m so disgusted by this belly!”) and I feel tremendously guilty.
There is something else I do, though.
Something evil.
Something not so nice.
Something embarrassing.
And I’m revealing it now.
I look at other mommies’ bodies and try to see if any part of mine is in better shape than theirs.
Horrid.
Egads. I can’t even believe I’m saying this, but someone once noted that confession is good for the soul, right?
I know, I know… this is unhealthy and rude. Does anyone else do this, too?
Tags: focused on the wrong things, mommy, moms with eating disorders, parenthood, terrible body imageRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Reflections, parenting
4 opinions for Confessions of an eating disordered mommy
Claire
Jul 30, 2008 at 9:30 pm
Yeah, I don’t think that’s so bad. It’s not nice or anything but it’s understandable. I mean I do this with *everyone* female…even if they are 12 years old…if I think there’s a chance they’re similar or thinner than me. I’ve even done it with 8 year olds I see shopping in Hollister (seriously…that’s how small their clothes are). I look at them and wonder what size they’re wearing. Are they in the smallest size? Does the fact that they’re so much younger than me, mean that I’m thin? Should I feel bad that I’m buying the small shirt when they’re buying the XS? (even my anorexic friend cannot wear the XS). and on and on…
Jess
Jul 30, 2008 at 9:59 pm
You know, you *could* be the sort of mother that harasses their kid about getting fat and being fat when the kid is generally underweight as it is, and instill in them the impression that the only people that matter in the world are those who are not fat, and that any of your child’s friend’s that are larger than than her are bad friends because of “their size”…
Matt
Jul 31, 2008 at 10:22 am
I’m in the same boat. I must never let my son catch me hating this disgusting cage of meat I am forced to live within. But I understand, sometimes I feel such livid hate for my vessel that i can’t help but voice it to myself, forgetting whoever may be present.
Matt
Jul 31, 2008 at 10:25 am
I forgot to add, it would probably take a bit more than the occasional body-related self loathing comment to do much lasting damage. My fatass parents had to really make me feel unloveable unless i was skinny to get me where i am today lol.
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