Remnants of an anorexic past
Sometimes, I forget for a while I had an eating disorder. It’s not for long, mind you, but it’s significant because I feel… well… normal.
Unfortunately, something always reminds me of my anorexic past. And then the memories fly at me with such force it’s hard not to sit down.
That’s what happened to me tonight.
I walked into a room feeling very, very strong. I’d had an excellent workout yesterday. My body felt toned. I held my head up high. But then I saw something that ruined my night.
My reflection.
It was there, in a mirror.
I saw myself.
I cringed and looked away, my positivity gone.
What I felt inside wasn’t what I saw on the outside.
I was ashamed, embarrassed.
Hopefully, as I get older and (maybe) wiser, I’ll have fewer Ana moments and more experiences of feeling like a “normal” woman.
Tags: Ana moments, anorexic, anorexic past, eating disorder, memories, ReflectionsRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Ana, Anorexia, Reflections
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