Two decades from an eating disorder… but still haunted by the feelings.
It’s been over two decades since I developed an eating disorder.
That’s 20+ years.
(Or three years if you’re a pooch…)
So why do I find myself having a bad day (today) and immediately projecting my feelings (self-loathing) onto my body? Can anyone explain how this is possible?
Of course, I know the answer. I realize that this is something that will never really go away. It’s just something with which I have to deal.
The funny thing is that it would be so much easier to stop eating than to deal with what’s bothering me.
But don’t worry. That ain’t a’gonna happen.
I just ate cake. :)
I’m cool.
And tomorrow will be better (fingers crossed)… right?
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POSTED IN: Anorexia, Reflections, eating disorder
4 opinions for Two decades from an eating disorder… but still haunted by the feelings.
Lulabelle
May 30, 2008 at 12:31 pm
Ugh, I do the exact same thing. Like everything would be fine if I wasn’t so fat/had bigger breasts/no wrinkles. My husband and I were just talking about this sort of thing-I’ve never been healthier, I have never looked better, and I have never felt worse. *sigh*
angelique
May 30, 2008 at 2:03 pm
I know. It’s ridiculous that women (mostly) seem to do this. It’s really a subconscious thing, too… as soon as I start to feel bad about ANYTHING, I turn that anger inward into self-loathing. Thighs, butt, stomach… it all becomes fodder for my obsession.
Lulabelle
May 30, 2008 at 2:37 pm
I just saw this on the found magazine website-made me think of your site-
http://foundmagazine.com/find/731
Lulabelle
May 30, 2008 at 2:37 pm
The note, not the comment below it. Should have clarified that
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