Going to extremes
Black or white. Up or down. Fat or thin.
Extremes.
That’s how many eating disordered persons see the world. And that fact is something that most people who have never had issues with anorexia or bulimia do not intrinsically understand.
For the gal or guy with an eating disorder, there’s no such thing as eating “a little” of something. It’s all or nothing.
There’s no such thing as “just gaining a pound or two.” Even a few ounces is viewed as a ton in the anorexic’s mind.
There’s no “middle of the road” weight. You’re either skinny or enormous.
I believe this is one of the reasons that treatment can be so difficult.
Among so many other issues, patients with eating disorders have to be willing to systematically rewire their brains. They have to begin to see the gray areas, not just the stark darkness or the bright light.
The process takes time.
Though it’s been many years since anorexia wrapped its rope-like arms around my body and soul, I still find myself thinking in extremes. I look at my plate and wonder, “How much should I eat? If I eat it all, have I gone over ‘The Limit’?” Then, I deliberately shake off the sensation.
Little by little, I’m letting go.
I’m conditioning myself to embrace the shadows.
And I’m extreme-ly healthier than ever. I hope you are, too.
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