May 11th, 2008
Guess what? I have a great news story that’s perfect for Mother’s Day!
A recent Reuters article linked being a mom to fewer eating problems. Cool, huh?
As the article claims:
“Women have fewer eating problems after having children…largely because they stop drinking as much and behave less impulsively, according to new findings from Norway.”
Unfortunately, the piece does include this tidbit, which is a bit of a downer:
“Women did show less disordered eating after having children, which the researchers found was largely due to a reduction in impulsive behavior and a drop in alcohol use. But while women who remained childless showed increased satisfaction with their appearance over time, women who became mothers did not.”
But let’s end on a high note:
“Based on the findings, von Soest said, it’s possible that reducing alcohol use and taking other steps to create a more stable lifestyle could help people to overcome eating disorders.”
Viva la mommyhood!
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By angelique -- 0 comments
May 11th, 2008
December 14, 2002, I received a delicious surprise. It came in the form of a positive pregnancy test.
I was elated.
I was amazed.
I was scared poopless.
As someone who had anorexia and EDNOS problems for over a decade, I just knew that being “with child” would open the door for Ana to move back into my life. It totally freaked me out.
Ironically, I needn’t have worried. The real surprise was that my focus changed dramatically from me to my child. I stopped worrying about the size of my thighs and the amount of fat on my ribcage.
After my son was born in August, 2003, I was certain that Ana would come back into the picture immediately, but again, I was given the gift of peace. I had too much to worry about (COLIC! YIKES!) to obsess over my butt. It was a time of many stressors, but Ana’s presence wasn’t one of them.
Today, almost five years after the birth of my son, I’m happy to say that I’m probably at my least “disordered” since those tumultuous teen years, and I credit my child for helping me see the light. (At least most of the time… as you know, I am still irritated about my eating and body image and will probably tackle those feelings for a while.)
I hope this Mother’s Day leaves you with positive remembrances, too.
Enjoy.
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By angelique -- 5 comments
May 10th, 2008
“Where is Victory?”
by abigail
To have and know peace
is to have had and known war.
A time before the hatred crept in
I resided as a beautiful human being.
Now i am a woman before all else.
i am frantic–what do women do?
My inner instincts aren’t to be trusted
And i begin to to fill others expectations.
I wasn’t so engaged at first-
i would casually complain WITH girlfriends
about my weight, my hunger, my ugly worthless.
And as i grew more believing, my self hatred grew.
The common bond now became a series of secret ritual
–weigh, exercise, binge, purge, starve–die a little more.
My world grew smaller and i became more worthless–
others begged to know my “secret” to perfection.
i have no self– i am a slave to my inner General.
It is a shameful experience
to wage a secret war, where peace is always a pound away…
….i am one pound away from death…
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Image: Newscom
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By angelique -- 0 comments
May 10th, 2008
I only wish this were a joke.
On the web, there are underground programs and “schools” (loosely defined) of pro-ana and pro-mia supporters that, in essence, claim to help and support the anorexic, bulimic or EDNOS sufferer who does not want to get better.
Yes, these “thinstitutes” (my word) of ana/mia education are available. And many of them have strict policies on who is allowed to become a “student”. (I think they are concerned that people like myself might try to infiltrate their societies, which, I admit, is a legitimate worry from their point of view because I’ve considered doing so many times.)
Thinspiration abounds on those sites, and although they are quick to say that they are for people who already have EDs and notthose who desire to have an ED (the so-called “wannarexics), I’m dubious and concerned.
However, I have no hatred for either the “teachers” or the “students” — the sites are run by webmistresses (I’ve yet to find one operated by a man) who are in the grips of an ED and sincerely believe that it’s a-okay to simply live with an ED, embracing it rather than fighting it.
I’d be interested in hearing from any readers who have past or present experience with the pro-ana movement. Did you “matriculate” from Ana U?
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May 9th, 2008
Feeling the weight of my years
by Susan
I feel the weight of 50+ years of comments:
“She looks just like her grandmother!”
“She’s so tiny — she couldn’t know how to read yet!”
“There goes ol’ Skinny-Legs! Guinter the Splinter!”
At 12, from a boy as he broke up with me:
“You’ll never have children — you don’t have any breasts.”
At 14, a boy said to the boy who liked me:
“But she’s ugly and flat as a board!”
At 21, my first lover’s friends mocked him:
“What are you doing with her? She looks about 12!”
At 25, from another lover:
“I chose you over her — your breasts are more beautiful than hers.”
Later, from my mother and my sister:
“Your ass is getting too big.” “Your breasts are starting to sag.”
From co-workers:
“You’re starting to look matronly.” “What happened? What have you been eating?”
Not too long ago, from a director explaining his casting decision:
“I see Blanche as someone who’d starve before she’d let herself put on weight.”
Since then, the one I’m hoping to remember, from a masseuse:
“I believe your body has grown in order to contain your expanding soul.”
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What is this all about? Click here to find out more about this nifty contest!
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Image: Newscom
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May 9th, 2008
Okay, so this entry isn’t going to count, so it doesn’t really have a number. But, hey, I have to kick off the Breaking the Mirror “For Keeps” contest somehow! So here goes nothing…
My attempt at a body image related haiku:
My body bends
Society’s expectations
Erase my hunger
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By angelique -- 0 comments
May 9th, 2008
Your daughter loves wearing her blue or red beaded bracelet. Maybe it even has a dragonfly on it or what is known as a “dragonfly” clasp.
Now, her piece of fashion wear could be completely innocent. Or it could be a sign that she’s telling the world she’s pro-ana (red beads) or pro-mia (blue beads).
I blogged briefly about this topic a couple of days ago, but I wanted to mention it again because I think it’s incredibly important for people everywhere to know the little “signals” that folks in the pro-ana and pro-mia movements send one another.
Again, I’m in no way suggesting that a beaded bracelet tells the whole story. (I think I might have a blue beaded one somewhere around the house, and I’m anything but pro-mia.) However, it could be a clue if you’re seeing other signs of a possible eating disorder in your child, friend or student.
As a side note, I’ve seriously been considering creating a red beaded one and wearing it openly to see if anyone approaches me. Hm. I might have to try that.
IMAGES: Newscom
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May 8th, 2008
As most readers know, I have a disordered eating past (and present, at least from the viewpoint that I totally “get” eating disorders from both sides of the aisle.) Therefore, I must confess that while I was extremely thrilled to be chosen as the Breaking the Mirror blogger back in December, I was terrified, too.
You see, my role involves looking at dozens of “thinspo” images every week. I also peruse pro-ana and pro-mia sites ad nauseum, checking them out, seeing what the participants are saying and reporting back to you their messages.
The idea of being around all that thinspiration on a daily basis scared the feces out of me. (Not literally, of course, for which I’m very grateful, but you get the point…)
I truly thought that there was a small, but real, chance that I would “fall” back into my old habits of eating… or not eating. I was very, very scared. Would I embrace Ana as though she were a long-lost love I should never have abandoned? Would Mia charm me with her ways? Or would I begin a pattern of bingeing that led to a new eating disorder?
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By angelique -- 2 comments
May 8th, 2008
You don’t have to be a published poet to win Breaking the Mirror’s “For Keeps” Contest! But you do have to enter to win! Click on this link and find out how!
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By angelique -- 0 comments
May 8th, 2008
Please don’t be an ostrich if you’re a parent.
What’s an ostrich? It’s someone who sticks his or her head in the sand and pretends that things aren’t going on when they most definitely are.
This attitude is what allows so many eating disorders to go undetected by the people who live with anorexics and bulimics.
I recommend that all parents check out pro-ana sites on a regular basis. If you do, you’ll begin to see comments like the following:
“It’s very easy to get out of drinking that Instant Breakfast in the morning. I’ll just keeping bringing it up to my room to ‘drink’, and at that point all I need to do is pour that liquid weight down the sink drain.”
“It’s so interesting actually how my skill for lieing (sic) has developed into a talent of improve (sic) acting. all thanks to hiding my dear friend ana…”
“I can’t wait until July… I’m gonna start my new restriction diet… I let people talk me out of it before, this time I won’t be swayed… And I have to be on my toes because my husband is sssoooo nosey (sic)…”
“so far i haven’t eaten anything. I applied for some pro-ana communities & hopefully it won’t be long until i get in.”
“I am depressed and even looking at journals kept by pro-mia and pro-ana girls with the contiuing (sic) of the pictures… I just want that f-king desired weight and size already.”
Please, open your eyes.
This is real.
This is pro-ana.
And this is not going away.
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